TWO NEW PAGES OF PBAT ARE OUT!
Now, you can call that a bunch of baloney or even just the weird algorithm cookies that listen to whatever you say out loud, but I think its interesting to start focusing on why does this keep appearing?
While doing the Artist Way challenge, there is a chapter on the art of noticing and listening. Ever since I (re)discovered what my artistic purpose was, I started noticing the small things that reminded me of that purpose.
Whenever I search for my mom’s nail polish, It reminded me of when i was just a little girl learning to paint my nails for the first time.
whenever I look out my front yard window, it reminds me of when me and my friends were riding out bikes up and down the block.
whenever i do my hair, it reminds me of the girls at school who used to style my hair for fun. you get the point!
I started to feel in sync with who I ran away from. Interesting, huh?
Maybe for such a long time, I denied and was denied aspects of being a girl simply because i needed to just survive first …so I desynchronized.
I first denied myself of presenting feminine, which now i openly embrace. But now, i realized I denied myself to fully allow my art to just be “girly girl” or “cutesy” because I want to be taken seriously.
My whole identity is revolved around the idea that I can be anything and more, I’m not just one thing, I’m all. So I need to allow my art and my mind to sync.
If I want my art to girly then i should allow it to be that, It doesn’t make my work less serious. I’m still allowed to draw body horror and grim things, but that doesn’t make me anymore of a serious artist. like girl calm down, it’s art for fuck sake
I’ve built this guard around my art because I wanted to survive, but in reality i’ve been killing myself by plucking the flowers that grow from within.
Seeing posts that revolve around the idea of girlhood brings me such tranquility and that lets me know that I’m heading in the right direction. it’s regrowing the flowers that i’ve longed for.
Watching Even when I am here, I am always her by Danni Juhl nearly sent me into tears despite me only experiencing some similar aspects to her. I was listening to the fact that she’s trying to synchronize with her younger self. Something that I’m currently going through within my own journey.
While you can argue that girlhood does not exist, that you do not experience it at all, or even outright refuse to acknowledge it. I can say that it is absolutely not universal, but does that not make it more worthy of paying attention to?
pay attention to those who do experience it, sit with them and allow them the space to embody , or mourn, the period of life where they were once a young girl. To deny them the space or acknowledgement is to discount their experience and perpetuate your own ideals over lived experiences.
The one thing I absolutely adore about girlhood is that the fact that there is no one-way of experiencing it. Each perspective is unique and that’s beautiful to me.
But one thing is universal- the constant flow of desynchronizing and synchronizing with yourself throughout life.
BOOK TALK
so sorry for all the extra bg noises and stuff, but i hope you all enjoy this podcast style book talk
BOOKS MENTIONED
Heidi Hecklebeck has a secret by Wanda Coven
The Day you begin By Jacqueline Woodson
PIXIE SNIPPET: Plain Jane cant pick an outfit
Im still waiting for feedback for Good Witch Flunk-So I just wrapped up the script for Plain Jane and finished doing thumbnails for the comic- WOOO this project is moving fast isn’t it?
I don’t wanna spoil too much but ill let you guys take a sneak peak of a page and style test ;)
MUSIC TIME
Reincarnated by Kendrick Lamar
